A reel that I saw on Instagram inspired me to write this piece. I have attached the link to that reel below.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CqfysVrNLmG/
Just as this says, your first healthy relationship will be challenging. It will be marred by the trauma that you underwent in your previous relationship. It would be a challenge learning to accept the new and actual normal of mutual respect and understanding.
Another thing that no one talks about is the period in between that. The toxic relationship drains you so much to an extent that you lose faith in love and relationships. It makes you question yourself and your ability to have a meaningful relationship. You are thrown into a whole new world after you decide to cut ties with the person or the other way around. `You are alone, you are drained and you have no idea what to expect in the future. You are afraid to even consider the possibility of happiness in the future.
Trust me when I say that all this is normal. It would take some time to heal and learn to accept that you deserve more. Each person has their own way of healing and the time period taken by them would be different but the healing eventually happens and you would be ready for a love that is healing and deep. No relationship is meant to drain you. In fact, it should be the opposite. A relationship is meant to nurture you and allow you to grow.
The first step towards achieving that journey, at least from what I have seen around, is to accept the fact that you deserve better. If you don’t think that for yourself, no one would. So after you are done grieving, accept the fact that you deserve better and try to open up your mind to new possibilities.
After you have healed and accepted the fact, you might end up finding someone who values and respects you. But again, even that would be a challenge as you are not used to this and you might find ways to sabotage it. You would feel insecure as you are not used to this and would always end up thinking of the worst-case scenarios. Just understand that this is normal and slowly learn to accept that and enjoy the peace and love it brings forth.
One thing that can be inferred from all this is to have faith and never lose hope. Quoting from Shawshank Redemption, “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies. “Where there is life, there is hope and that is something that everyone needs to hold on to for the better or the worse.