Writing has always been my source of calmness and zen as it helps me focus on what actually matters the most. During one such time when I wanted to cut myself off from the world and destress myself, I wrote this piece. I have been wanting to publish this for quite some time but decided to prioritise my other blogs.
Back in 2019, I was going through a tough time and I had this key chain custom-made as I needed something to remind me that it was all going to be okay. This quote is from the 2015 movie ‘Cinderella’ and ever since I heard it in the movie, the deepness of it just resonated with me. This quote is so simple yet so complex in the meaning it tries to convey with just a few words.
Fast forward four years and it still continues to serve as a reminder when times get tough and gives a message of hope. Being kind requires courage, especially in situations when it is not easy to choose it. This quote combines strength and vulnerability and shows that the two can exist harmoniously.
Genuine kindness is rare, it is raw and it requires courage to give it. With a lot going on in the world, remembering this will help you out. No matter what happens and whatever curveball life throws at you, just remember to have courage and be kind. I hope this serves as a reminder for you as well!! ❤️✨
Just as this says, your first healthy relationship will be challenging. It will be marred by the trauma that you underwent in your previous relationship. It would be a challenge learning to accept the new and actual normal of mutual respect and understanding.
Another thing that no one talks about is the period in between that. The toxic relationship drains you so much to an extent that you lose faith in love and relationships. It makes you question yourself and your ability to have a meaningful relationship. You are thrown into a whole new world after you decide to cut ties with the person or the other way around. `You are alone, you are drained and you have no idea what to expect in the future. You are afraid to even consider the possibility of happiness in the future.
Trust me when I say that all this is normal. It would take some time to heal and learn to accept that you deserve more. Each person has their own way of healing and the time period taken by them would be different but the healing eventually happens and you would be ready for a love that is healing and deep. No relationship is meant to drain you. In fact, it should be the opposite. A relationship is meant to nurture you and allow you to grow.
The first step towards achieving that journey, at least from what I have seen around, is to accept the fact that you deserve better. If you don’t think that for yourself, no one would. So after you are done grieving, accept the fact that you deserve better and try to open up your mind to new possibilities.
After you have healed and accepted the fact, you might end up finding someone who values and respects you. But again, even that would be a challenge as you are not used to this and you might find ways to sabotage it. You would feel insecure as you are not used to this and would always end up thinking of the worst-case scenarios. Just understand that this is normal and slowly learn to accept that and enjoy the peace and love it brings forth.
One thing that can be inferred from all this is to have faith and never lose hope. Quoting from Shawshank Redemption, “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies. “Where there is life, there is hope and that is something that everyone needs to hold on to for the better or the worse.
Amazon Prime recently released Modern Love: Chennai on its OTT platform and I had been binge-watching it which prompted me to write this blog. Chennai, being my hometown was another factor that made me write on this though I have been meaning to write on this topic for quite some time. Modern Love is inspired by personal real-life essays from the New York Times column Modern Love. The initial season was based in New York and then later on inspired the same concept of different cities in India with the latest being the one of Chennai.
It is an extremely heartwarming series that explores the different kinds of love out there. From a doorman being a woman’s confidant to finding lost love, this series has it all. After seeing the five seasons of all the demographics over the years, it just got me thinking as to what is Modern Love. So what is Modern Love? Each individual would have their own perspective on it but this is my take on Modern love.
Modern love is a concept that exists in today’s day and age but it can mean different things to different people depending on their situations. It is called Modern because the idea of love and the way it is expressed has changed over time. I really wanted to know what the take on Modern love was in today’s society and hence asked people from various walks of life to share their thoughts on the same.
Jaya, an experienced project manager currently doing her Masters in Cork quotes as follows.
“Modern love is love that exists in its many forms…straight love, bi-love, platonic love, love for inanimate things, self-love and their acceptance in any form shouldn’t be scrutinized under any lens even by oneself in bouts of uncertainty.”
Charu, an experienced business development manager currently doing her Masters in Cork quotes as follows.
“Modern love for me is something that doesn’t define my existence but helps me to glorify it even more. I do not depend on his love to give me happiness, but his presence makes my happy days, even more, happier and the low days slightly less upsetting. It is a love that makes me stronger. Everyone today is very ambitious, focused and driven. It is a love that makes my belief stronger and helps me to manifest bigger and better not just for me but also for everyone I care about. It is this love that makes me a better person and accepts me with all the flaws that make me what I am. It is a love that doesn’t question my perceptiveness and gives me space to explore whatever realms I want to be in. He wants me to be his partner for life and not just a mother to his kids or a wife for himself for that matter. He knows I cook perfectly well but he also knows when and why I would need my sip of coffee or a freshly squeezed orange juice. It is a love that respects my individualism and loves to grow with me. It is a love that knows I am emotionally vulnerable and how the nuances of society can mess with my brain, but nevertheless, it is the deep breath that I take at the start of each new day and at the end of each night. It is a love that knows that I value commitments irrespective of various opinions, and that’s what keeps us together.”
Adhitya, a software engineer based in Canada quotes as follows.
“Modern love is not anymore about hormones making one feel a certain way about another but rather a perspective that one pushes on oneself about another person. To most teens today, love is all about what they see everywhere in films and series. If they do not feel that way from head to toe or if the other person is not perfect, it’s not love to them. Modern love is no more about just being there, sharing your joy and providing a shoulder to cry on.”
Dipika, a software engineer based in the USA quotes as follows.
“Modern love is both heartfelt and a choice to stick with your partner through all the ups and downs. But I also feel that love has always been the same but just the way it is shown has changed. “
Patricia, a linguistics student based in Cork quotes as follows.
“To me, I guess modern love is overwhelming freedom without guidance because we’re all lost about what love actually is.”
All the above thoughts and opinions are possible because of Modern Love. According to me, Modern love is a love that breaks rules, questions stereotypes, challenges the norms and gives the freedom to choose. It gives you the courage to explore love beyond the said rules and expand your horizons to fit in whatever love you feel is suitable for you. It embraces all your perfect imperfections no matter the situation.
It’s that time of the year when exams are finally over and summer is here!!! Summer is beautiful, isn’t it? People usually say that Spring is the season of hope but Summer is the season that tells people that affirms people that their hope didn’t go in vain. It culminates into something beautiful, allowing people to dream of something good.
It was that kind of a day when I decided to go for a walk on the Banks of the Lee Walkway in Cork City. Me saying it was beautiful would be a dire understatement. It was something ethereal. There is something about walking in nature and greenery, is it not? It makes you feel closer to the universe and rejuvenates you. All the burdens that had stacked up itself over time finally left me and made me feel light.
All this combined with the blue skies and clear water just made even more sense. And what’s not to love with the little dogs running around and enjoying their day as well?
So yeah, coming back to the point. After my walk, I decided to watch a movie because why not? No idea why, but I felt like watching some old classic. I was listening to the song ‘Don’t you forget about me’ by Simple Minds and my mind immediately went to the movie ‘The Breakfast Club’. I have always loved this movie and will continue loving it. It is such a short movie but the depth it conveys is beyond its running time.
The movie showcases five students from different cliques in high school who have to spend eight hours of detention together on a Saturday morning. The conversations that they have conveys so much that make you rethink your perspective on life. I guess the walks on the banks just made me think more. A few things that it conveys are to not give a damn about what other people think and to be unapologetically yourself.
And that is exactly what every one of us needs to do. To be unapologetically yourself!! If you love someone, tell them. If you want to ask someone out, ask them!! If you feel like there is an issue or a gap between your friends, address it!! If you think you did something wrong, apologise!! I mean, it’s not so hard, is it?
Life is short and relationships are profound. Every relationship whether it may be between siblings, friends or a couple is unique and each one requires its own efforts. It takes courage to stand up for each of them and put in all your heart and soul. Yes, it takes courage to let down all your walls and show your vulnerable self to others and for that, you always have to be proud and never ashamed no matter where things would end. Because you were true to yourself and that’s all that matters.
Just remember, you never have to be sorry or feel embarrassed just because you were unapologetically you!!
PS: I borrowed this book from a friend and read it and hence I could not take a picture. The picture I have used here is from a website named carousell.ph . I am attaching the link here for reference: https://www.carousell.ph/p/man-woman-and-child-by-erich-segal-142406527/ This is the first post of romance genre in my feed. So as promised, I have switched from my go-to genre which happens to be psychological and mystery thrillers. Okay now, so let’s dive into the review. Man, woman and child is an intense family drama that revolves around love, passion and faithfulness. Bob and Sheila Beckwith, who are the man and woman as the title says have everything that everyone envies. Love!! They are a happily married couple who have two daughters and live a peaceful and happy life. Bob loves his family with all his heart and soul.
Just when everything seemed to be perfect, one phone call changes everything. A phone call that tells Bob that he has a son. Memories come flooding back to Bob on how he had been unfaithful to Sheila ten years prior. Now that the truth was out in the open, will the couple stay together? What happens to the family? Read the book to find out more. The author must have had some kind of magical powers as each and every word written in the book makes you feel the pain the couple undergoes. The emotion conveyed is intense and maybe some readers out there would definitely shed a drop or two. A must read book for all bibliophiles out there. One thing that really shocked me was the fact that I couldn’t find any pictures of this book on Instagram. This is one of the author’s best works in par with his famous ‘ Love story’ (will post my review later) and yet, this was the situation. This was another fact that prompted me to post a review on this book as I really felt that this gem should be known to all my fellow book lovers out there. My rating: 5/5 For those who have read this book, do let me know your perspectives in the comments below. For those who want to check out this book, here is the link: https://amzn.to/3ak8L2j Author: Erich Segal Publisher: Rhus publishers
Yet another mystery thriller in my blog. Yes, I am a huge fan of mystery and psychological thrillers. The Silent Widow is a book by Tilly Bagshawe written using Sidney Sheldon’s name. His family allowed her to continue his legacy as her writing style was similar to that of Sheldon’s. Sidney Sheldon is and was one of the best mystery writers we have ever been gifted with. But sadly due to his demise in 2007, we all lost a gem of a writer. But I think the universe heard the cry of all the bookholics and reincarnated him in the form of Tilly Bagshawe. Doctor Nikki Roberts is a psychologist who makes her living by trying to understand and read people’s minds. But what happens when there are a sudden spate of murders in the city and she is the common link between them? Are these murders related to the murder of an au pair in Mexico that happened ten years ago? Don’t worry, I am not going to give you spoilers.
The writing is effortless and smooth and manages to keep the suspense element intact throughout. Though I think fans of Sheldon would predict the ending, it certainly is worth giving a read. I also think that the plot of the book is similar to the ‘ The naked face ‘ which was the first novel written by Sheldon and which was nominated for the Edgar Allen Poe award for best first novel. I will post my thoughts on this book as well soon. Overall a good book but definitely had scope for doing better as I really have great expectations from the author. Will post more reviews on her other amazing books soon. My overall rating: 3.8/5
If you have read this book, do let me know your perspectives in the comments below. For those who want to check out this book, here is the link: https://amzn.to/2LY0Pem
I don’t know if you all would agree with me on this but Winter really calls for thrillers and if you are in the mood for a psychological thriller with an unexpected ending, then this is the book for you.
This book follows a first-person narrative and revolves around three women, Rachel, Anna and Megan. Rachel here is the woman that the title refers to. She is an alcoholic who is still depressed after her failed marriage with Tom, who is now happily married to Anna. She also ends up losing her job as a result of her binge drinking. In order to hide the fact that she lost her job from her roommate, she takes the regular train to London everyday where her job actually was. During her journey, she sees the everyday happenings mostly focusing on her old house where she and Tom lived and an attractive couple whose life she idealizes from her own imagination.
One day she notices Megan kissing another man and this enrages her as it was not how she idealised her life. The next day morning she wakes up with blood stains in her apartment and fears that she did something to Megan but can’t remember it due to her blackout. What follows is a series of twists and turns that will keep you on the edge.
The author’s writing style is really good and keeps you thinking on what’s going to happen next. Though it felt like a drag in the first few chapters, it really got interesting as it progressed. I really could feel Rachel’s deep emotions, Megan’s frustrations and Anna’s motherly instincts as they narrated their perspectives.
So just snuggle up in a blanket with a cup of tea and get ready for an amazing mystery. This is definitely a winner of a book.
My rating: 4/5
If you guys have read this book, do let me know your perspectives in the comments below. For those who want to check out this book, here is the link: https://amzn.to/33lE7T9
Author: Paula Hawkins Publisher: Transworld publishers
